My Roller Coaster Ride in Life

So this is how it goes... 

2 weeks ago, precisely on Wednesday night 3rd of August, I was a complete wreck. I was crying in the living room in front of my laptop with a sea of leftover wire and beads on the carpet and Greg was once again speechless at my uncontrollable tragic behaviour. Everything that I tried to do, went wrong. I couldn’t stand being a poor artist anymore but I couldn’t get a job that suits me.  My parents are fighting and I’m carrying their emotional burden, I spent 3 hours trying to learn how to make wire ring with minor progress. On the weekend I got told off at church for music practice then I got an email again giving me a ‘gentle nudge’ on my photography for church- but it came at a wrong time so that the ‘gentle nudge’ feels more like a punch in the face- and that's when I explode. 

I was exactly like the movie “Julie & Julia” in the scene where Julie had a melt down crying in the kitchen over her aspects and stuffed chicken when suddenly her phone rang- just as I thought I couldn't be more of a wreck, I got an sms. I read it while still sobbing, it says, 

“Hi Fionna, awhile ago you applied to work in our florist in Dickson. We currently have an opening. Please let me know if you are able to come for an interview- Valeria”

Greg just looked at me and go, “Now you’re even more confused aren’t you?” – I looked at him and sobbed even more than before like a deranged child. 

I had so many bad, half-hearted interviews in florists and one very bad trial that made me think that florists are beautiful business on the surface that are run by a bunch of heartless ogres. Although if I pass, of course I will be happy, but if I don’t- would I be able to handle another disappointment? But I just got given an opportunity in front of me- it’s like a half open door already, how can I resist not trying to open the whole door? 

I had a surprisingly pleasant interview with them that Friday, and on Tuesday the week after, I had my first trial. I was completely terrified before I went in I paced around outside the shop like a nervous lover before I close my eyes and jump in. I was working with the owner, Valeria and Margaret and found that they are both so incredibly nice. They ask me back again the next day, and the day after that. I really love the way they work. They are very straight in their opinion. If they don’t like something they will say it, but if they like something- that means they REALLY like it. I managed to do one modern arrangement that they REALLY like and I came home feeling very good about myself for once.

Yesterday I had my fourth day of trial. I was working with Valeria the whole time. I have suppressed myself from getting my hopes up that when she asks for my tax file number, I didn’t really understand what she was getting at. When I finished my shift she asked me back again after I get back from holiday. I was like, “What? Am I still in the middle of the trial? Or... do I get the job?”. She nodded with a smile.Oh my goodness, I feel like I was flying!!! I hugged her with a big squeal and excitement I nearly cried. The iceberg of burden in my back for the past few months slowly melt away and I was SO relieved. Val hugged me back and said, “You deserve it, you really do- and please don't cry...” (haha...) 

And tomorrow I’m off to Brisbane for a 10 day holiday before I come back home for my first day of work- and just like that, life is good again.

God is so incredible on how he plans his timing so perfectly. I really think that if He wants me to get a job earlier He would’ve made it happen, but in this 10 month period of being 'jobless' I’m able to do a lot of things that I wouldn’t have done otherwise. Granted that I was absolutely miserable in the process, but I can see now how it all worked out for the best. 

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” Proverbs 19:21

- Oh, and for those of you who are curious, this florist job only a casual position, so that I can still spend the rest of the time playing music and run my jewelry store. =)