The Guru in Me.

Somehow Greg had managed to carve out a pot of flower out of a CARROT with a cutter! In honor of his amazing random talents, the photos will be scattered all over this post. 

Last week we had a friend who needs help in baby sitting while they were tutoring some kids. Since my schedule is so incredibly flexible, I volunteered- though, it was a paid job. When I arrived, the baby was still sleeping so my friend ended up training me on teaching kids reading (he was very specific in how he want things done)- just in case they need an extra teacher. The opportunity did come up and I end up using my new-found skill in that hour. 

It feels great to be useful. But I have to say that I've been avoiding teaching jobs all my life until now. It's not because I don't like it, it's more of a confidence thing. I really don't want to teach someone the wrong things or be known forever as 'that bad teacher I had in high school'. I have been thinking of teaching music just for the money, but I don't need the money enough to be bothered finding students. Sure enough- the idea got on to me before I do. Somewhere, out of the blue- a distant friend asked me if I could teach her husband jazz piano. I was nervous- but she believed in me, so I took the job!

So on Tuesday this week I had my first ever jazz piano student. It was unreal! The thought of preparing a one on one class is very stimulating to my brain. And since my student is an older person, it was interesting to know what motivate him to learn jazz- maybe deep inside I'm hoping that this would influence me to like jazz again. I was ready to leave music entirely when I finished my music degree 3 years ago. With music jobs coming up here and there, maybe I will never be able to get away from it. It makes me think, maybe sometimes jobs chooses you than you're choosing it.

And now into my jewelry business. If there's any full-time handmade artists out there reading this, can I ask you something? Do you ever like, suddenly feel the urge to pull your hair out in the middle of your knitting, sewing, painting, cutting or soaping? Because that is how I'm feeling today. I felt guilty that everyday this week I can't wake up earlier than 11am, every night before I go to sleep at 3am I get disappointed that I haven't done as much as I wanted to- which finally leads to today. In the middle of coiling an extremely long and fine gauge of wire I suddenly felt like I was loosing my mind. 

My brain was shouting at me, "Why are you doing this? This is crazy! You're coiling crazy bits of wire everyday for nothing! You should get a real job and get paid like everyone else!" Maybe I'm just thinking irrationally because I've been unwell and haven't had a chance to go to the gym to let it all out. But at the same time, my brain is right. I'm worried that not having a real job means Greg and I will never be able to afford a house big enough for kids, buy new furniture or travel overseas. 

But anyway... tonight I caught up with my friend David on skype- I haven't been in contact with him since my wedding 8 months ago.
He said, "Whatcha been up to? Doing jewelry and all?" 

I said, "Yes pretty much. That and play music, and plant a lot of... plants." - I felt so pathetic saying all these things and was ready for him to mock me (not that David would ever do that) his response was, "Sounds like a beautiful life to me. Real job sucks" I suddenly felt relieved, and understood. He's so right! It is a beautiful life, and as far as I can tell, real job DOES suck. I'm surrounded everyday by beautiful things, surroundings and people- it is the pinnacle of life. "Thanks David, that really warms my heart"

And you know what else warms my heart? An amazing husband who comes home from work then tries to cheer his wife in every way he could... and can carve out objects out of a carrot! =) 

And to my brain, I have an answer for you too: Matthew 6: 25-34

My Ill Feel Week

This past week, I had been unwell... all week!  I missed out on a lot of events, but at the same time am grateful of the ones I’m able to attend.   Last weekend was the Merimbula jazz festival. Merimbula is a pretty little town on the West Coast of Australia and every year in winter, the place is transformed into New Orleans.There’s always somebody playing music in every corner you turn to. The reason I went was because of the choir I’m singing in. We were in Merimbula for 2 days and our choir sang 3 times. I had a sore throat at this time but I was having too much fun to care.

My favorite gig from the weekend was for the Sunday morning service at a uniting church. Everyone was so jolly, including the ministers... Hehe! ^0^ 

I’m not really sure if it was the singing, the tiredness or dehydration, but the next couple of days, I was sooo deeeeeead. My head was as heavy as a rock and my throat is so itchy and sore it hurts to talk and eat. I’m constantly falling asleep because of the pain- and painkillers. I couldn’t clean, shop or cook. Meanwhile, my super strong husband is achieving everything. He was going to work and then go out every night for social events. He even work overtime for 14 hours on Friday. But he keeps me in his mind. On Thursday he came home to his miserable wife with some flowers (blue hyacinth) and take away corn soup! That made me smile. =)

Normally we have 1 - 3 games night a week, but I didn't come to any of it this week. When Greg came home from one of them, I received a very amusing card from Amanda and Mabel. It goes like this:

Dearest Darling Fi,

Tonight, you we did not see

Imagine our lack of glee

Because there was no Fi

We Hear you are quite ill

But yet we miss you still

We hope you get over this chill

And those bad bugs reduced to Nil

Please stay reclined with lots of rest

Or some vicks vapour rub on your chest

We hope Greg will try his outmost best

To help your symptoms regress

Love and lots of It,

Amanda and Mabel 2011 xox

I couldn't laughing and coughing for awhile reading that. It was the nicest and the cutest thing anyone had ever written for me- and it's not even my birthday! I shall treasure this forever. 

One thing that I actually got done this week is gardening. I moved around some of my plants and made space for winter salads, broccoli, and some bulbs. We’ve also been growing our own mushrooms lately- and they taste sooooo amazing! So sweet and wholesome in comparison to bought mushrooms.

Even though I wasn't very productive this week. I felt very satisfied about my work. I sent a pair of earrings to an Etsy customer in the US for the first time, and she sent me the best feedback! She gave me her permission to quote her on my blog,

“Fionna, You need to feel good about what you're doing!!
I have made jewelry & still have tons of supplies for when the mood hits but I could NEVER have the patience to do what you do. I wore them all day today & plan on wearing them often.The only place I went today was to have a pedicure & got 3 compliments on your work! Pat yourself on the back & have a great weekend. LOVE them!!
Cant wait to treat myself again :o)

(Cheri from www.Headsupgirls.etsy.com)

I only have $200 in my account right now but I feel like a million dollar reading this. I love my job.

Finally, on Sunday- even though I’m still coughing, that day was scheduled for demo recording with John and Sienna. We were in my living room for 3 hours playing music, listening back to them and laughing at the sound we make while John were editing them out loud. Maybe I'll put them up on this blog if I'm not too embarrassed by it. Have a great week everyone! xox 

Kavita's necklace

Kavita, a friend from choir had asked me to make her a custom necklace. She invited me to her house on Saturday- the house has been in an on-going renovation for 11 years- she designed some of the rooms herself. That afternoon, she got her husband, her twin teenagers (a boy and a girl), and her 5 dogs all sitting in their living room looking through my Etsy shop in a 60" flatscreen tv. That was quite a big moment for me...

She told me about her love for jewelry and silver. Her husband then pulled out her old silver collection and showed me her crazy collection-  silver bugs jewelry, silver half a foot pendant, over-the-top heavy precious stone necklace and a huge messy wire earring in silver. She finally asked me to make whatever I want with the oval lapis lazuli bead that I've got.

It's very uncommon for someone to say to me, "I like your taste, here's mine, now go!" - especially in Canberra! Talk about trust! I know this place is Australia's capital city, but it's sort of rural at the same time. The suburbs are divided by forests, sometimes people go to the supermarket and cinema in their PJ's and wear jeans to concerts. No one wears crazy in here!

So this is what I've come up with,

I oddly quite like this necklace. I tried making it crazy, but not too much so that it's still 'me'. I'll be giving this to her this weekend. I hope she likes it! Eeek...!

Her daughter Llana also ordered my 'geometric choker' but in black. It's so odd. I thought I would never sell that piece because it's so unusual- but she loves it! Man, I love people who are 'out there'! They get me! =)

Ways to Stay Creative

Greg forward me this list from work. He thought this might be very useful for me, and he's right. I think this is more than just really good tips, it's a way of life. I'm going to blow this up and stick it on my mirror now. 

Words

(I wrote this blog post a week ago and for some reason I forgot to post it up! Oh well, I guess late is better than nothing)

Last week... hasn’t really been easy. I feel like getting blows, after blows of challenges.

It started as a silly challenge. I finished this adventure game called “Dreamfall” which I have spent a lot of time playing lately. This game is more of a story book than a game really. When the game ended, the story has unfolded to me in a very disappointing way. I fought through mazes and tried to stop bad guys from getting their ways. But in the end, all of my friends died, or captured. I also died and the baddies, though mildly injured, still made their way through. The only situation that is resolved is that the ghost that has been haunting my character had disappeared. That is like, 1 out of 10 cases that I’m trying to solved actually got solved properly.

Words are not enough for me to express my disappointment. I actually feel irritated and upset. The game was so visually stunning. There’s so many build ups, and my expectations rises every time I move on to the next chapter. I thought to myself “There has to be nothing worst than being let down after so build ups and expectations! Whoever wrote this story is sooo evil!” Well. Turns out that there is something worst than that. Less than 24 hours later, I got an email from Canberra Handmade that says,

Dear Designer

Thank you for your recent application for Shop handmade Canberra. 

Unfortunately your application has been unsuccessful as the category you have applied for is full.

Thank you for your interest in Shop Handmade Canberra.

With Thanks

Alright, maybe there is something worst than being let down after a huge build up in a fantasy world- that is being let down in a real world! I've been told that shop handmade have agreed for me to lease out their space just a couple of days back. It doesn’t seem like it’s serious, but its still getting me down. I feel like making wire jewellery is all I’ve got, and if a local certified handmade shop won’t take it, I’m really really stuffed.

I can feel myself sinking in hopelessness and felt a bit lazy with making jewelry for the rest of the day. I remember the same feeling in uni when I got my comments back from my lecturers about my singing. One particular semester I got an extremely bad mark and comments about my singing that is so horrifying, I couldn’t get myself out of my room for 5 days. 

I wished back then that those words didn’t get me down. In uni I keep feeling bad about getting comments after comments that I don’t even bother trying anymore. So, I took this hard-earned wisdom, pulled myself together and kept working for the day. They finally wrote back to me 3 days later that the email was a mistake and they’ll contact me by September. Thank you God!!!

Words are so evil sometimes. I mean, they can be used for great things of course, but when its used badly, it is really, really bad. I feel like when someone complement me, I'd be happy for a little while, but if someone said something that I didn't like, I'll carry it with me forever like scars. 

And if that wasn't challenging enough, on Wednesday I suffered a migraine that lasts for 2 days.  I couldn’t do anything besides sleep and watch tv. My husband has been supporting me in the background the whole time. As I was constantly frowning and feeling disappointed in myself, he was very forgiving and listened to me. He even took over making dinner in some nights. I guess by the end of the day, no matter how bad things are, I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world because of him. 

I had a much better time the week after. I seem to be able to do the things that I said I was going to do such as going to the gym, turning up in the social events at night time and doing the dishes before I go to sleep- simple things like that. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this up for as long as I can!