Last week... hasn’t really been easy. I feel like getting blows, after blows of challenges.
It started as a silly challenge. I finished this adventure game called “Dreamfall” which I have spent a lot of time playing lately. This game is more of a story book than a game really. When the game ended, the story has unfolded to me in a very disappointing way. I fought through mazes and tried to stop bad guys from getting their ways. But in the end, all of my friends died, or captured. I also died and the baddies, though mildly injured, still made their way through. The only situation that is resolved is that the ghost that has been haunting my character had disappeared. That is like, 1 out of 10 cases that I’m trying to solved actually got solved properly.
Words are not enough for me to express my disappointment. I actually feel irritated and upset. The game was so visually stunning. There’s so many build ups, and my expectations rises every time I move on to the next chapter. I thought to myself “There has to be nothing worst than being let down after so build ups and expectations! Whoever wrote this story is sooo evil!” Well. Turns out that there is something worst than that. Less than 24 hours later, I got an email from Canberra Handmade that says,
Dear Designer
Thank you for your recent application for Shop handmade Canberra.
Unfortunately your application has been unsuccessful as the category you have applied for is full.
Thank you for your interest in Shop Handmade Canberra.
With Thanks
Alright, maybe there is something worst than being let down after a huge build up in a fantasy world- that is being let down in a real world! I've been told that shop handmade have agreed for me to lease out their space just a couple of days back. It doesn’t seem like it’s serious, but its still getting me down. I feel like making wire jewellery is all I’ve got, and if a local certified handmade shop won’t take it, I’m really really stuffed.
I can feel myself sinking in hopelessness and felt a bit lazy with making jewelry for the rest of the day. I remember the same feeling in uni when I got my comments back from my lecturers about my singing. One particular semester I got an extremely bad mark and comments about my singing that is so horrifying, I couldn’t get myself out of my room for 5 days.
I wished back then that those words didn’t get me down. In uni I keep feeling bad about getting comments after comments that I don’t even bother trying anymore. So, I took this hard-earned wisdom, pulled myself together and kept working for the day. They finally wrote back to me 3 days later that the email was a mistake and they’ll contact me by September. Thank you God!!!
Words are so evil sometimes. I mean, they can be used for great things of course, but when its used badly, it is really, really bad. I feel like when someone complement me, I'd be happy for a little while, but if someone said something that I didn't like, I'll carry it with me forever like scars.
And if that wasn't challenging enough, on Wednesday I suffered a migraine that lasts for 2 days. I couldn’t do anything besides sleep and watch tv. My husband has been supporting me in the background the whole time. As I was constantly frowning and feeling disappointed in myself, he was very forgiving and listened to me. He even took over making dinner in some nights. I guess by the end of the day, no matter how bad things are, I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world because of him.
I had a much better time the week after. I seem to be able to do the things that I said I was going to do such as going to the gym, turning up in the social events at night time and doing the dishes before I go to sleep- simple things like that. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this up for as long as I can!
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