Shower in Blooms Photoshoot

I thought I know what it means to have passion in something, and then I met Garry Chiu of GC photography- and now I don't know what that word means anymore.

Garry somehow found me and contacted me via facebook back in December to see if I was interested for a shoot. I replied straight away saying yes! We somehow got chatting away about 2 photographers that we happen to both know and love (Kirsty Mitchell and Von Wong). Garry is one of those people who has so much character that his personality is transparent even from chatting, so we got along really well before we've even met!

Christmas and New Year came not long after so I took the holiday period to really recuperate from a year of madness while Garry went ahead and pretty much organized everything. Sure enough a few days before I flew back to Australia I checked my facebook and Garry has got a team ready waiting for me. Garry relied on me for theme and ideas so pressure's on. Thankfully Canberra happen to have a lot of rain that week so one night while I was sitting on my bed with my pencil and paper I just happen to come up with a title "Shower in Blooms" And the imagination flows from there.

I really wanted to incorporate my flowers and wire work in 1 image so I decided to design my very first wired head piece and a peir of flower crystal earrings to go with it.

We had the shoot on Saturday 7th of February, which happen to be a very busy day for me. I had to deliver flowers for a wedding at 2:30pm and set up for my first bridal expo before 4pm. And so the shoot will have to finish at 1:30pm the latest.

I made everyone come to my house for the shoot so that I can keep all the flowers that I needed in the flower fridge- and everyone graciously did. There were definitely a lot of coffee being made and handed around the house. I woke up at 4:30am to work on the flowers of the head piece. I decided not to do it any earlier because out of all flowers, I find that blue flowers are the most fragile.

The only person that I have ever worked with is Marie Donnell from Myshairdesign - I adore Marie, and I'm so happy that she's able to do Paris's make up. Paris was my first preferance for model because of her captivating blue eyes. So when first Garry told me that we got her I was pretty ecstatic. Erika, Paris's mum was with us the whole time. Us kids cant function without her. She got us props, helped Paris to take her for dress fitting provided by Vicky from Rockstars and Royalty, and a steam iron last minute. And then there's my husband, Greg who loves people and stayed with us all throughout the shoot helping us doing small odd things that makes a huge difference.

After we finished prettying up Paris, I suddenly realized that she looked like Elsa from Frozen- which is ironic because I don't like Frozen at all. Marie even braided her hair so she looks like Elsa even more! Is it possible that my dislike for frozen is so apparent that I decided to subconsciously created one in real life??? And because I also dislike the soundtrack we started singing "Let it Go". I guess I was so happy and excited at the time I didn't really care.

Shooting was so much fun. Garry connected his SLR to his laptop so that we can see the photos that he took on LightRoom and comment as he shoots away. He took a lot of really funny ones and also told us a lot of really funny stories. Greg's brother Luke, is living with us at the moment. He reported that he heard more laughing than "the clicking of cameras" (his words) coming from downstairs. That's probably about right. We weren't the most efficient bunch, but we most certainly are a creative bunch that managed experiment a few different things.

After taking enough beauty shots to our hearts content, we tried this trick that Garry has been wanting to try called "Glam the Dress". That is when Erika and I lift up the outer layer of Paris's dress on either size, and dropped it on queue- and then it look like her dress is being blown! In this photo my fingers accidentally got caught on the dress so I flicked it instead of dropping it- but it ended up being one of our favorite!

And then because the title of this shoot is "Shower in Blooms" we also tried throwing petals around Paris so it looks like she is posing in a rain of petals . It was my idea, but none of us really know how to achieve it. So the first time tried it, Erika literally threw a bunch of petals on Paris's face- it was hilarious! We had a really good laugh out of that, but then we manage to do it again out of confusion. I guess we have to start from somewhere!

We tried throwing petals in different ways while Marie was concentrating on the photographs that appears on the laptop and constantly giving us feedback on what works and what doesn't. We finally manage to pull this photo out of a few experiments. Pretty amazing right? What we did was, Erika and me are throwing petals on either side of Paris from below. Greg also threw petals from in front of Paris but just lightly so it doesn't reach to her face. Even when the petals are being thrown from below, it still looks like it's falling from above on camera.

So that was it! It was a huge day for me and felt like I've achieved a lot to last me awhile. I found a lot of things that I need to improve on from this experience. And the one thing that I am most proud of (apart from producing these amazing images with a kick ass team) is actually how I managed to keep the flowers alive all throughout the shoot. Meanwhile, Garry, Marie and Paris went away and did like another 5 other shoots in the next 10 days. You just can't limit love and passion combined together. I hope you are inspired by these ideas and images!

Fionna

Erin's Birthday

Erin, Canberra’s queen of Vintage caravan, the mastermind behind ‘My Sweet Alice’ had turned 30 last week and she is throwing a classic vintage inspired garden party to celebrate! I felt so lucky to be asked to provide flowers and to be invited to stay for the event . The party was going to be an afternoon picnic at Canberra’s Old Parliament House Rose garden. Erin was so gracious in giving me the creative freedom for the flowers. As Canberra gardens flourishes in spring, especially of roses in October, I didn’t want to compete with that. Especially that Alice will be located in the rose garden itself. With that in mind, I decided to do something a bit different: a plant arrangement!

I thought it would be the perfect decoration as well as a gift for Erin. She works hard cooking and baking every week so why not give her something she can use in her garden? And while I’m at it, I decided to use an old weathered wood that we rescued from revolve to custom make the arrangements container. I asked my handy husband to do the sawing and drilling. After he finished, he couldn't bare to let it go as the size sits perfectly on our new coffee table.

I have been to a Sweet Alice birthday event once, but Erin’s birthday was my first time helping them set up. It was a great feeling when everything was properly done. I have realized now more than ever what a perfectionist Erin is when it comes to parties. "If you're having a party, you have to do it properl."- she says as we were unpacking chocolate brownies, cupcakes and macaroons. And yes, yes I agree with that completely! Tess from ‘Style My Aisle’ was there to set up tables, chairs and picnic rugs, and Chloe had baked Erin her birthday cake topped with berries and roses. Beautiful gardens and objects, yummy food, perfect weather and company… it is good to be alive.

 Happy Birthday Erin! Wishing you many beautiful days like these, success and happiness in years ahead with Alice...!  

Winter Handmade Market

9 June 2014 

Between the Autumn and the Winter handmade market, Fenon have done 2 weddings, 2 workplace markets, 2 photoshoots, and even went back to work in florever florist, twice.

I don’t normally do winter markets as I’ve been advised not to. I’ve been told that people don’t normally like wearing earrings because of the ‘scarf issue’. But now that I’m doing this full time I don't have much choice in the matter. I didn’t think that I would sell a lot, but things took quite a turn when I decided to make my new planters.

Over mothers day week, I did 2 lunch time mini markets in The Prime Minister Cabinet and Department of Social Services. I always have an identity crisis in markets because I have no way to tell people that I’m also a florist- and it’s always awkward to tell people that I do both. I decided to sell single wrapped giant Chrysanthemum over the markets to fix that problem. Unfortunately it didn't work out very well as some of the flowers I bought fell apart as I unwrap them, and I literally only sold 1 flower over the 2 market period. So yea... scrap that idea....

So I decided to make what I thought was going to be terrariums at the time- but I promised myself not to invest too much into it  just in case it fell apart like the mothers day chrysanthemum. I didn’t really know how though because it means I will have to buy some glass wares in bulk to do them- UNTIL that fateful day when I had my friend Lauren Gordon (from Laurel & Lace) over for lunch. We were just going to hang out to talk about floristry stuff but then got distracted and she took me out to the tip. I NEVER go to the tip, but 30 minutes shopping in there with Lauren got me completely hooked. We walked out of there with old suit cases, a trolley full or glass ware, some other random pieced of 'junk' and a big grin in both of our faces. So yea… the trip to the tip was a turning point of my life.

That only happened 3 weeks before the winter market. After doing some research I started making these ‘planters’. I called them planters because they’re not confined in a jar with a lid like a terrarium. They’re just a plant inside a glass container with an in-build drainage.  Unlike terrarium I like the idea of being able to reach the plants to pluck the dead leaves/flowers to encourage new growth. 

Now that the market is over, I’m stoked to see that the plants are getting sold and people like the idea of my planters inside pre loved containers. More importantly, it made Fenon both a jewellery and plant 'shop' and have created its own niche market. 

The winter market in itself was really good too. I thought everyone are away for the long weekend, but actually the crowd turn out is pretty good. I get happy every time I see my regulars (you know who you are!). The best complement I had over the weekend was this lady who had a browse at my stuff, left, and later came back and told me that she had looked at everything in the market and none of them stood out as much as my wire jewellery. Oh man, I feel like I’m flying! What a complement, seriously!  Sometimes before going to the market I feel like my stuff is so boring cause everyone else’s is so ridiculously awesome. Her words made me feel so good, I didn't care that she didn’t buy anything. She could even be lying and all but she made me feel so positive I really don’t mind. So thank you very much to all my regulars and to the mystery lady for making my job awesome!  

The baby suspense photoshoot.

24 May 2014

2 days after my graduation, I scheduled everyone to have yet another photoshoot. I have very high expectations on these shoots as I'm clear with myself that I need these photos to build up my reputation, portfolio, and also to come up with a design that is (hopefully) fresh and new. I don't expect all my clients to have inspirations for their event, so why not create something that they could look and be like, "I want something like that please!" 

I research through magazines, built a contraption and even went to the Sydney flower market and spent a few hundred dollars to get the variety of materials that I needed. And then the inevitable happened. Our photographer, Ben's wife is having high blood pressure in the late stage of her pregnancy and he wasn't sure if he could be there for the photoshoot as the baby could come out any time now. We communicated every day speculating what is going to happen and it was very stressful for all of us leading up to the day. I tried to organised several replacement and it all fell through and there is nothing I could do. 

The day of the photoshoot I woke up at 5:30 am to prepare, make, transport and set up the hanging piece for the day. Everyone was scheduled to come at 3pm and I had the best time when it's time to put the flowers in. I was alone in a gorgeous garden under a massive willow tree and there was hardly anyone there. The weather was great and I even brought music with me, I had such a great time it feels like I'm dreaming! 

We don't know if Ben was coming at all but we decided to go ahead with all the preparation because we have Kevin, our 2nd photographer back up. And then Ben texted me at 2:20pm to say that he is coming. His daughter, Olivia Sarah Thomas was born that day a few minutes after noon and Ben had to rush out to his photo shoot straight after.  Oh my goodness.... All I can say is, thank you so much Frances for letting your husband go for a few hours after your big moment! 

That was all well and good. Except, he took one photo of my hanging piece and told me that the light wasn't great under that tree and moved on with the model. I was so shattered as I didn't think that there's anything I could do about it because this arrangement is so big. I felt crushed that he lost interest in my hard work so quickly that I teared up and felt like my hard work had fallen apart. 

And that's when Greg saved me. We only had 30 minutes worth of light before the sun goes down and he took the ladder, took my arrangement down, carried it on his back and put it up on a different tree- didn't even care which tree. I couldn't believe that he did all that single handedly! It's like I married this normal person and then 3 years later I found out that I have actually married superman! Feeling pretty good about my life choices at that moment. 

Finally Ben manage to take photos of my arrangement that he could live with- just minutes before the light disappeared completely. I couldn't believe the amount of stress this photoshoot had caused me. Needless to say that I will have a longer break in between this photoshoot and my next one. 

And finally to Olivia (cutest baby in the world!), when you grow up and read this, know that your parents are legends and that I'm thankful that you didn't pop out a few hours later than you did- you have stirred me up good little one! xo auntie Fionna 

After the photoshoot I came home with a migraine and wasn't feeling amazing after this shoot and my graduation speech stunt. I only see my dad once in a few years at a time and if I could have him with me in any time of my life I was glad that he was home that night when I wasn't feeling great. I told him that I feel like a failure. And he said, "Successful people are usually successful failures. If you don't keep trying you will never succeed but if you keep trying you will fail a lot but will sometime succeed." Hehe, my dad is so Chinese I love him. 

 

CIT Graduation

22 May 2014

I had my graduation ceremony from CIT on the 22^nd of May. It is a worthwhile journal entry as the last time I graduate from my other degree I couldn’t care less of what I studied that by the end of a 4 year study I didn’t bother attending the ceremony.

On the flip side of that, 6 years later I had managed to cram in cert 2 & 3 floristry in CIT in 1 year and the graduation event has blown out of proportion. My parents flown in from Jakarta to be there and I haven’t seen them in 2 years. My older brother also decided to attend, and I haven’t seen him for 4 years.

It is worthwhile in retrospect as they have given me the rotary club award. They have also ask me to come in early for an interview with the Canberra weekly and have invited me to make a speech as the ‘vote of thanks’ to the teachers on behalf of the students- which is the biggest honor anyone could ever give to me. My in laws were ecstatic- so they’re also coming. The funny thing about all this is, initially when CIT mailed me my testamur I accidentally threw it in recycling bin. I rang them up trying to get it sent back to me and told them that the letter had been damaged in the post from the rain…. In my defence, Greg told me to say that- and it sounded more respectable than accidentally throwing away my testamur in the recycling bin- so I did what he said.

All that honor and acknowledgement, my head should really be blown up like a balloon with ego right now, and so I’m grateful for the silly things that I do to bring me back down to earth. It would also be helpful if I had a cat- I would continually go back to it for a reality check.

To cut a long story short, I didn’t ended up doing my graduation speech. They didn’t tell me when I’m supposed to do it, so after I went up to the stage to receive my bit of paper I went out of the hall to catch a breath from my nerves. When I came back, the ceremony is over and I totally missed my speech.  I felt gutted. It was a once in a lifetime event and I completely missed it! Argh!

After the ceremony I wanted the family to get together for a bbq at home instead of going out for dinner. I figured it would be more social that way. I’m really glad that I did because in between dinner and dessert I read my speech in front of the people who actually cared about me. A few days after I realized that apart from my ego, my family and my teachers, I haven’t disappointed anyone else.

The rotary club had invited me to speak to them about my learning journey and what I will do with my career in a few weeks time so I’ll make it up then.

If You Love Me... (Se Voce Me Ama)

30 April 2014

Naming a new jewellery design often made me pause for a good long while before I can come up with anything. So every now and then I cheat by naming it to a song that I listened to when I was making it. In this case, it is a particular song by Melody Gardot and Heitor Pereira. When I really like a piece of music, I repeat it for the whole day while making stuff and not get tired of it- which made it one of the rare occasions that I'm thankful to be working alone.  

I own 2 out of 3 Melody Gardot albums- and I always wondered why her album photographs are so dark- and also how her voice is unusually meticulous. Later I found out from Pandora Radio that years ago in her uni days- as a fashion student, she got run over by a vehicle that left her for dead on the side of the road. Her recovery process took years and one of the thing she had to do to recover was music therapy. She is hyper sensitive to light and sound- which explains a lot about her artistry- and walks with a cane that made it hard for her to tour.  

This particular song is incredibly delicate, it makes my heart swells listening to it. It is however in Portuguese and for a long while I wasn't curious of what the song is about until I had to name the earrings I just made. I'm glad that I did, because it made the song more meaningful- and positively heart breaking. So I've got the music in Portuguese for you to listen and the lyrics in English. Close eyes, turn up speakers, enjoy slowly.  

Without you
There is no life to live
Without you
There is no life to live, there is love
If you love me, why do not you call me?
Do not hide in the silence of a flower changes
That afternoon the moon, as shown as naked
Sea and wind, my torment, my loneliness
Under the moon
Light that is so your
Open up
Two lovers in frank light in a sea of love
So much love
Love to win (To win your love)
I'm your bird (I'm your bird)
I fly very softly, sing for you
If you love me
Why do not you call me?
In my nest singing here alone without you
enchanted
A mirage of nothing (no one)
My desert to fly open open
More than anything
"Sayonara" my love
Without you
There is no life life to live, there is
There is no life

English Garden Photoshoot

15 April 2014

Nalin (of Peacock and Lotus Design hair accessories) and I had our first organised photoshoot this week. When Nalin and I first met to discuss goals and ideas, we were aiming high and wanted our photos to be a magazine standard photography. Didn’t take us long to realize that that is very hard to do with zero styled shoots experience- so we’ve decided to do a simpler product shots to begin with. Still, we ended up having a professional photographer, make-up artist, hair stylist, models and ‘borrowed’ wedding dresses from a Sydney designer - the whole sch-bang which made me very excited and nervous on the day (credits are posted below).

It's the 15^th of April and we are in the heart of autumn here in Australia. At this time of the year Canberra is in overabundance of autumn leaves, berries, roses and dahlias. I have gladly created 4 bridal bouquets featuring different shades of autumn that I have had fun exploring. 

When we think of autumn, most people would immediately think of the colour red, orange and yellow. I think the reason for this is because those colours displayed the brightest, most eye catching part of autumn especially in maple and ornamental pear trees. The monochromatic nature of this combination makes this bouquet so easy to come up with. 

Flowers: roses, crab apples, gomprena, wild berries, paper daisy, solidaster and autumn leaves

I love the pink tones in autumn- which does exist if you look for it, especially in sunsets. Pink is closely connected closely to the colour brown- which is the colour of dried up autumn leaves. It is possible to create an autumn themed wedding with the correct shade combination of ivory, light pink and brown.

Flowers used are:   roses, David Austin roses, paper daisy, stock, alstromeira, dried maple leaves

Have you ever noticed the dark purple colour that plum trees leaves turn into in autumn? It is not a celebrated autumn colour, but in Canberra, there would be rows and rows of plum trees that turn to dark purple before it goes dormant and sprung masses of pink flowers in spring. I lhad the idea of having a traditional red wedding bouquet with an autumn twist so I made this red rose bouquet with a touch of dark purple backing of purple maple leaves, and purple thai basil filler flowers!

Flowers: roses, thai basil flowers, dahlia, scabiosa, purple autumn leaves backing.

Admittedly the last bouquet is not completely inspired by autumn- I just had to do it because of the unusual colour of this dahlia is calling out to me to be bought. The colour I have in mind for this bouquet is silver lavender which leans more towards in winter- but still nice.

Flowers: dahlia, stock, lavender, scabiosa, spray roses, lisianthus, feijoa foliage.  

Ben- Photographer: https://www.facebook.com/benthomasphotos

Nalin- Head Pieces: https://www.facebook.com/peacockandlotus

Raechel- Make up Artist: https://www.facebook.com/RaediantBeauty

Fionna- Florist: https://www.facebook.com/fenonwirejewellery

Hair Stylist: https://www.facebook.com/redpoutboutique

Locks of Love- Flowers for Film

2nd March 2014 

It's not everyday that you get an interesting volunteering job via facebook from a film producer to a florist- and yet that is what happened to me around Christmas time last year. When a film producer, Janine was desperate for a florist, she managed finding me via an article about my Royal Easter Show win, 'googling' my name and then contacting me on facebook- and the rest is history!  

The movie project is conducted by ScreenACT- a Canberra film company who has been working hard on a few short films using locations and talents from Canberra. 

My main project was to decorate a gate with flowers for a wedding scene. Janine and I was communicating actively for a few weeks discussing logistics and what we want the gate to look like. I drew her 4 different sketches of ideas to show her some creative possibilities, different flower choices and also options covering a few different level of budget. Janine chose a simpler version of my sketch but was sold by it because it has mainly South African/Australian Native flowers. 

I also brought the 'Royal Bluebell' to Janine's attention. The Royal Bluebell is a delicate wild-floral emblem of the capital city. It is too small to be placed on the gate to make any impact so we've decided to put them in the bride's hair. 

I had such a great time decorating a relatively large space of the gate with natives. The variety of texture, size of Australian foliage and flowers are so vast and delicious it is so easy to make things look that they belong together. I have to confess that while I was covering the oasis in foliage at home I was entertaining the idea of one day doing some serious flower decoration for a big box office movie. A future bigger and better version of 'great gatsby' perhaps, haha.... I absolutely adore the frills in that movie!  

The gate was covered with foliage at home 2 days before the shoot. On the day of the shooting I arrived 4 hours earlier before the actors arrive to finish it off with the flowers. Working in a shooting location was an experience in itself. I had no idea how much work goes into making a movie until that day. There's camera technicians who are very busy doing just one very specific jobs. Director, producers still discussing creative options to resolve the weather changes issues. Assistants making sure everyone have got their coffees and making sure the public knows what is going on in the area. 

Slightly different to the nature of my usual gig, the priority of this arrangement is for the flowers to look good for the camera only- which means that I could economized in some places if necessary. I also need to know which angle the camera is facing, and which side of the gate is priority. I knew that I was doing the right thing when one of the key cameraman commented that he wished he have had something similar for their wedding! Haha... 

I had my lunch break when the shooting commences. I came back and watched the final few bits of the shoot and then it's already time to dismantle everything. It felt a bit weird that after weeks of planning, days of preparing, the gate was only 'alive' for less than 4 hours before it was pulled apart. 

The release date for the movie is still pending. Will definitely announce it as soon as I find out from Janine. 

The Plan

28 February 2014

I’m very excited to be writing the first blog post of my new website solely as a business owner. I remember years ago when I was bored on my desk job I would draw sketches- sketches of what my ‘shop front’ would look like. The dream was different back then. I thought I was going to own a little shop front of flowers with little nifty trinkets. For some reason I wanted a white lounge in there somewhere with pretty books and relaxing background music. As time goes by, I realize that even though I love working in a customer related environment, being able to design is what I really want to do.

As I’m writing this, I’m 4 days away to finishing my job in the florist. Tuesday, 4^th March. I am sad, but it has been a long time coming as my hours had been cut down and the job is starting to get very repetitive and boring. I am eager to move on, but I have to admit that I do feel scared sometimes to go off on my own. I’m so blessed that so many of my friends and clients are happy and excited for me, and their support has had a huge impact to my confidence and self-esteem.

In the past 2 months while still working in the florist, I’ve been slowly working towards a goal in setting up the business. At the beginning of the year, there are 3 things that I know I have to properly invest; buying a fridge suitable for my flowers, getting a new identity and hire a professional web designer.  It’s been unreal seeing that list ticked off in just a few weeks!

Starting out fresh I had to decide, in black and white, how I want the audience to see what Fenon is. On the surface, Fenon is a name that I use to brand my product and services. Fenon is me, and I am a florist, who makes jewellery- but deeper than that, I have a brain that likes to go for a wonder (boredom is my recipe for going crazy). I have ideas, I style, and design, and while writing this I know I’m going to go beyond flowers and jewellery. The tag line to my new logo is not flowers, or handmade jewellery (although I did put a flower and swirls in the logo to drive a point of what I’m currently doing). I purposefully chose studio design- and suddenly the possibility is endless and Fenon can be anything that I choose to create in the long term.

It may seem small, but this is my pitch to the world of chaos. To emphasize the beauty in everything that we create- and that can be a whole other blog post for me to unpack. But we’ll leave it here for now.

Thank you everyone for sharing your time in starting this journey with me! Xo 

I don't write many blog entries. I'm not a writer, and I doubt my daily stories has much potential to inspire. Lately my days are just filled with tasks to be done so I don't have to think about them anymore. Who wants to hear about that? But tonight is different. I think I've hit some sort of a mental wall. All the things that are happening are just blurred into one whirlwind, and I'm over telling everyone that I'm busy.

In regards to where my jewellery business is at, it's going fantastically considering it's interrupted by school and work. I'm juggling between replenishing popular designs, designing new things, filling in custom orders and updating my online presence. But thanks to the great people out there who follow my work, sales has been going quite steady even with no markets. CIT is going crazy preparing for Floriade and work in the florist is picking up also. With all this happening, Greg and I just bought our first house. We're going to move in there somehow soon before Floriade starts hopefully. We also have our 7 month old niece in the back of our mind who is in the hospital.

Tonight was supposed to be my 10 year school reunion. I could't cope with the thought of having to travel to Melbourne over a weekend with all this happening so I chose to stay at home. Greg is away to Sydney for the weekend leaving me alone, and I'm feeling a deep regret being alone doing nothing while everyone else is out there having a great time. Oh well, I've had a good run 10 years after school. I might still not be rich but I finally know what I want to do in life... I don't know if I'm good at it or not but at least I know I'm worth something.

Something happen to me this week that I thought was quite ironic and actually, I still don't quite understand. I was jobless in 2011, got depressed and thought I had nothing to give to the world. Somehow this year I got a confidence boost with Fenon doing very well and the significant Royal Easter Show win. You would think that with that kind of improvement it would give a big boost to my career. Yet things haven't really changed much and I still get problems. Until this day my boss still doesn't let me touch any work that is mildly interesting, I still get rejected to attend into a few markets and finally this week my teacher at school wouldn't let me get my hands on the floral jewellery making book because she doesn't want the rest of the class to get a shock when they see what I could do. And that kind of discourages me a little.

I live everyday having faith in God knowing that everything is under His control, so I'm not complaining. I'm simply standing here, observing His works in my life and the worldly view of the bi-product of my worldly achievements. When I was on the other side I always thought that if I could prove to all these people I'm worth something, maybe I will gain a bit of respect and my life will get infinitely better. It did get better, but I didn't realize being great doesn't just mean happy ending.

I never thought that if I climb the ladder higher it means the possibility of falling even harder. But thats Ok, I will never dwell on that. I'll just never ever look down.

My Tribute to Van Gogh

Floristry has been half of my occupation for almost 2 years now, but I've decided to go back to school and get qualified. I always thought it was going to be a waste of time and money. The time I could've spent to work is now replaced with class and homework. Plus, since they still count me as an international student I had to pay 3 times more for this semester not including materials and flowers. Somehow these things didn't put me off. Greg supported me, we found the money and paid for it.

Because of that I didn't really want to miss a single opportunity to grow, and I've told my teachers that. The day I enroll they gave me a competition to enter- which I didn't think much of, all I know it had a vague uninspiring theme 'Tribute to a Falling Star". I thought, 'O geez, what a way to make a political statement and get into trouble'.

Anyways, first day of class came and I was really, really nervous my stomach felt like it's invested by things that flies. The idea of going back to school terrifies me. But as it turns out, I really enjoyed school. I really like my teachers and my classmates, and I'm learning A LOT. We wired a heck of a lot of stuff too which is right up my alley. Didn't find it easy though. I need to work faster, and although my jewellery making skills help, I still have to stop making everything so petite like my jewellery.

Week 4 of school came and it was right on the date where I'm supposed to have submitted my application to the Oasis people- and I completely forgot about it. As soon as I saw Gina she says, "Are you going to the Easter show?" I'm like, "What Easter show?"- and that's the other thing I didn't know. The competition is part of the Sydney Royal Easter Show- and it really threw me off because I've never heard anything about it let alone know what it is. Though it did clicked to me that well, I almost missed my opportunity. I didn't get home till after hours that night and so I had to email them. The next day I called them to make sure they've got my application. They did, I'm in, all good.

So now I have to find my topic. Oh my goodness my head goes round and around between Marilyn Monroe and Michael Jackson and I just can't see it. I spoke to all my friends about this thing that I have to do. And actually I found the idea that my topic doesn't have to be an actor/singer from a conversation over dinner I had with a girl I bumped into from Melbourne. We were talking about the Toulouse Lautrec exhibition in Canberra, and then about how Monet's paintings are coming soon to Sydney. Monet was actually my first choice of topic. The next day my boss said, "Did you know Monet has had a lovely life?" No, no idea but he's famous and I can actually relate to him as supposed to Marilyn Munro and I'm freakin out cause the competition is next weekend! 2 days later I mentioned this idea to Hazel and she said, "Why don't you choose Van Gogh? He had a terrible life and he was a painter of stars!"  

So that was it. Topic chosen. During class I was making a bridal bouquet and sketching ideas at the same time. By the end of the class I showed Hazel my sketches, she gave me feedback, more ideas, and off I go.

That coming weekend was very busy for me and Greg. My husband Greg is a very handy man so I drew him my ideas and he helps me build it. We tend to not know what step 2 will be until you're finished with step 1. Greg will ask me how are we going to do this and that and that and I'll have no clue until we get there. It was a challenging weekend. Greg was optimistic that whole time, but then on the way to church on Sunday night he said, " I'm not so sure about this anymore, I think the pole is going to fall over...". During church I was so stressed I couldn't really think about anything else besides my stupid installation

On Wednesday I invited Hazel to my house to have a look at the installation because it was already half buildt. She was only there for 45 minutes, but in that time she managed to give me feedback that changed my ideas and materials that I chose initially. It was so productive and focused, I don't think I've enjoyed a more intelligent conversation ever. That afternoon I made phone calls and run around for flower source. This is really bothering me but being in Canberra I have no choice but to order flowers from Sydney and pay double just so that I have a peace of mind of having the materials that I'm after. An hour after I called the supplier, Hazel called me back and said, "Hi Fionna, I'm in Belconnen and looking at your flower order right now. I see that you're missing this and that...". I'm kind of amazed how committed she is to this. I spent the rest of the afternoon making wire swirls and when Greg came home he drove me to school to see Hazel again. We managed to make more changes to it and finally wrote up a run sheet. Talking to Hazel with Greg was extremely helpful- it just means that all of us are in the same page with absolutely everything. Hazel just knows the black and white of common sense and it saves me and Greg arguing about the little things. We drove home that night feeling very confident that our installation is going to stay up.

The flowers arrived to Canberra from Sydney on Friday afternoon. Greg and I had to work that day but Greg generously left work early to pick it up. That night we still had time to go to a Tripod concert- because they are our heroes and I actually get to see their concert this time. After the concert Greg and I tried to work more but we were both so tired that we ended up just getting cranky at each other and didnt get anywhere. I went to bed at 2am, got up at 8am and kept going. I was mainly working with the wire swirls, making them and gluing them to the transparent tube. The wire wouldn't stick to the plastic and I was getting very frustrated, so in the morning I decided to wire them to the tube.

By the time we've got everything sorted and packed, it was noon exactly when we left the house. We dropped by to "office works" to get my Van Gogh's sign laminated and then we're really off to Sydney. Once we got there we checked in to the formula one hotel in Einfield and dropped off Theresa to the train station. After that we went to visit one of our friends in the hospital who just had a major kidney surgery. His surgery went well and we had a good catch up time with him even though it wasn't very long. And then we met up with some other friends for dinner. Thankfully we finish everything by 8pm and we were both really exhausted.  Greg fell asleep while I finish more wiring and I spent a few minutes before going to sleep to memorizing my run sheet, praying and trying to calm my nerves. Not sure how well that works because I could't sleep for a few hours and for some unknown reason I jumped out of bed at 2 am.

We left the hotel at 5:30am and got to the Olympic park at around 6am. As I'm writing this I just realize the reason why I was so tired all that time last week. I didn't really get much sleep did I? We were the first one to arrive at the flower pavilion for this competition. There's already a few people there for the Interflora competition, but not for the Designz cup. A few minutes later while we were setting up, we met Maria, Katrina and Michael.

The previous night and that morning I was actually really worried about the state of my irises. They were closed when I got them, but they opened fully when we drove them to Sydney. That's the thing with irises, when they are exposed to a bit of heat, they will open straight away and they will die within a day or 2. I have been warned about getting marked with the quality of flowers so the fully bloomed iris was a bit of a worry. On the other hand, my orange lily hasn't opened yet and I would really really like them to be open. Aaah well... this is the life of a florist. I sms Hazel the night before about this and in the morning she rang me at 8:30am to see if there's a possibility I could get a replacement. The competition starts at 9am so I thought it was out of the question. Though I asked one of the stewards opinion about it and she said it looks fine. Phew...

The competition has been postponed to 9:30 because 3 of the participants weren't there and we thought that they might have been stuck in traffic. As it turns out they were just a no show, which was a bit annoying. My brain was so committed to start at 9am that I became so incredibly agitated  The few minutes before we start all of us were just standing around waiting. My stomach is churning, my hands are tingling and I was hyperventilating so much I thought I was going to faint. Argh! Thankfully the girl next to me, Naomi started talking to me and diverted my attention for a bit, until we heard someone yelled out "Start!"

I tried to move and think as fast as I could. I think one of the most difficult thing to do is trying to get perspective of the design because I can't really stand back and look. The general public was also there to see us work but I was so focused I couldn't see anything else apart from my flowers.  The technique I was unfamiliar and nervous about is glueing, and I have to glue all the blue florets for the stars. Hazel had briefed me about it so I just did exactly as she said and it worked. I did wasted time gluing a lot more flowers than I need because I had no clue of how much I need. How am I supposed to know these things? And speaking of being concerned of the quality of the irises, the blue orchids were bad news when I opened it- good thing I only used 5 florets in the end. I think dyed blue orchids are horrendous anyway. Gina reckons I should get extra marks  just to use them and making them look acceptable. The Xanadu leaves were also terrible but I didn't actually realize until after. The bag of moss that I got was also terrible, but I don't use them enough to realize that. I even thought, "Oh, so this is what commercial moss looks like. Ok well this is great cause it's really easy to pin!".  

I thought I finished everything when they yelled out "5 minutes!" so I walked around to check. I forgot to cover one of the glue spots with blue flowers at the back and quickly did that, and that's about what I had time for. Of course there are more things that I would have liked to fix but we only have 90 minutes....

I quickly tried to clean my area, but alas I forgot my dusting pan- which was one of the biggest mistake I made. My moss look so messy! My mouth was so dry and my head is spinning. So much stress and now it's all over in a split second! I'm supposed to be cleaning up but I had no idea what to do so I got distracted talking to spectators and putting left over blue florets on little girls hair... until Gina came and told us that we can put everything away in the back room.

So that's it, it's over. We finished at 11am on the dot. I gathered up with my new found friends and started circling their works. Oh wow... the amount of work and interpretations of fallen star by everyone else is so diverse and impressive. I really enjoyed being with them and talking about their concepts.

Tiny Tim 

Audrey Hepburn

Lance Armstrong

Heath Ledger

Michael Jackson

Judy Garland

Amy Winehouse

As soon as I saw the judges circling around our work I am out of there. I didn't want to see any more flowers. When I walked out of the flower pavilion, I realized that I was well and truly in some sort of a carnival. People, shows, rides, it's all very exciting but then I ended up paying $14 for a disgusting hot dog and a small drink. Oh well we were quite desperate for food. We actually had lunch with Maria, her daughter, Katrina and Michael which was really nice. During lunch Michael actually mentioned that my piece was his favorite. Katrina also said that even before she knew I did Van Gogh, she could already tell from when we were setting up the installation. I was so flattered and its very humbling actually. I think everyone realize that art comes first and winning comes in later.  

We had to be back by 2pm for the judges and so Greg, Theresa and I went exploring. We saw the free-style motorbike show, wood sawing comp, domestic animal competition, arts and craft tent. Oh man, it was phenomenal... I only wished it wasn't so hot and the food wasn't mind blowingly expensive.

I wasn't keen to go back to the pavilion. I hate competitions to begin with so it was hard to face reality. Nevertheless I was nervous to see the result. By the time I got there the rest of the contestants are standing next to their creations and the winner is being announced. Michael won highly commended with his Lance Armstrong, Maria won third with Heath Ledger's character of "The Joker", Sahar won 2nd with Michael Jackson. "...and the winner of the New South Wales 2013 Designz Cup is, Fionna Tamin with 'Starry Night'."

When I heard my name being called I kind of have this dream-like feeling like I was watching myself from the crowd. I felt like a rockstar for about 20 minutes onwards. There's cameras flashing everywhere, and everyone wanted to talk to me. I was really happy of course, but I was too tired to process the reality. All I wanted to do is cry but I have to keep smiling for the camera. I was so flattered when Maria came and hugged me, and then Michael- I really want to start crying then! I mean, they are competitors, but they are genuinely happy for me. I'm so utterly and completely moved by them. Gina called Hazel almost straight after the announcement. I can't believe that last week I thought I'd be lucky to just have the installation staying up, if Hazel didn't plant confidence in me on Wednesday I don't think I'd have much faith in myself to do this.

Glory aside, I have received some constructive feedback from David Burger about my piece. He said instead of just moss to cover the bottom of the board, he would've like to see the board covered in some material that resembles the brush strokes in the painting. Especially the moss that I use aren't very good quality. Luckily for me, everyone else's moss are in the same state as mine so I was excused. After receiving feedback from David, Gina was willing to reveal her comments which in my opinion is more valuable. She mentioned the quality of moss I used, which was bad luck, but then the Xanadu leaves that I used wasn't great either, which I didn't realize. I have to admit that I was too focused in figuring out how to place them that I forgot to inspect their quality. I also cut the really tall gymea leaves in half and use both half in the arrangement. Gina mention that in a florist it's Ok to do that because we're trying to save cost, but competition work is not about being efficient with materials. And then my parallel Molucca Balm is not really parallel so I have to make them face a certain direction. I did it subconsciously and made them facing out instead of in. Gina reckons it made the arrangement loose it's energy. And lastly, I used a banksia in one arrangement but forgot about it in the other 2 oasis which I agree, it was a super big mistake. Actually, the second I finished, I looked back to the pile of banksia behind me and thought, "Oh great... I totally forgot about them."  I remember that as I was doing the banksia, I somehow remembered to glue the paper daisy in the moon swirls and then forgot about the rest of the banksia after. Oh well, I do have issues staying calm under pressure, so I'm just happy that I didn't forget anything major. 

Picking Van Gogh's painting might have been lateral but I let the painting dictate my design, whether other people have to come up with their designs from scratch. Out of all the displays, Michaels' Lance Armstrong was my favorite. He ran out of time and didn't get to put more flowers in but I really like his concept and you can tell that he's done his research.

After the announcement Greg and I decided that we wanted to stay in the Easter show as much as we can even though we were exhausted. We stayed up to the rodeo show and left at 7:30pm. We arrived Canberra at 11:30pm. I was so exhausted from adrenaline and hardly any sleep. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I had to go to work. On Monday after work I was sorting out photos and writing up interviews, got over tired and couldn't sleep until 3am. I couldn't concentrate at work on Tuesday and felt very frustrated with myself. That night for dinner Greg decided to cook a roast. We didn't have dinner until 10pm and although I was very hungry all I want to do is sleep. When it was time to eat, Greg accidentally moved me while I was holding a boiling hot gravy and it spilled all over my left hand. It didn't hurt too much but I started crying because I'm over worked, hungry, my house is a chaos and I felt like an absolute mess.

But now it's all over. As I'm writing this I'm at my in laws farm for the Easter long weekend. I slept 12 hours last night and woke up a 11:30am this morning. My mum in law fed us very well in time and everyone leaves me alone with my tab writing this all day. This competition has been a really awesome adventure.