The baby suspense photoshoot.

24 May 2014

2 days after my graduation, I scheduled everyone to have yet another photoshoot. I have very high expectations on these shoots as I'm clear with myself that I need these photos to build up my reputation, portfolio, and also to come up with a design that is (hopefully) fresh and new. I don't expect all my clients to have inspirations for their event, so why not create something that they could look and be like, "I want something like that please!" 

I research through magazines, built a contraption and even went to the Sydney flower market and spent a few hundred dollars to get the variety of materials that I needed. And then the inevitable happened. Our photographer, Ben's wife is having high blood pressure in the late stage of her pregnancy and he wasn't sure if he could be there for the photoshoot as the baby could come out any time now. We communicated every day speculating what is going to happen and it was very stressful for all of us leading up to the day. I tried to organised several replacement and it all fell through and there is nothing I could do. 

The day of the photoshoot I woke up at 5:30 am to prepare, make, transport and set up the hanging piece for the day. Everyone was scheduled to come at 3pm and I had the best time when it's time to put the flowers in. I was alone in a gorgeous garden under a massive willow tree and there was hardly anyone there. The weather was great and I even brought music with me, I had such a great time it feels like I'm dreaming! 

We don't know if Ben was coming at all but we decided to go ahead with all the preparation because we have Kevin, our 2nd photographer back up. And then Ben texted me at 2:20pm to say that he is coming. His daughter, Olivia Sarah Thomas was born that day a few minutes after noon and Ben had to rush out to his photo shoot straight after.  Oh my goodness.... All I can say is, thank you so much Frances for letting your husband go for a few hours after your big moment! 

That was all well and good. Except, he took one photo of my hanging piece and told me that the light wasn't great under that tree and moved on with the model. I was so shattered as I didn't think that there's anything I could do about it because this arrangement is so big. I felt crushed that he lost interest in my hard work so quickly that I teared up and felt like my hard work had fallen apart. 

And that's when Greg saved me. We only had 30 minutes worth of light before the sun goes down and he took the ladder, took my arrangement down, carried it on his back and put it up on a different tree- didn't even care which tree. I couldn't believe that he did all that single handedly! It's like I married this normal person and then 3 years later I found out that I have actually married superman! Feeling pretty good about my life choices at that moment. 

Finally Ben manage to take photos of my arrangement that he could live with- just minutes before the light disappeared completely. I couldn't believe the amount of stress this photoshoot had caused me. Needless to say that I will have a longer break in between this photoshoot and my next one. 

And finally to Olivia (cutest baby in the world!), when you grow up and read this, know that your parents are legends and that I'm thankful that you didn't pop out a few hours later than you did- you have stirred me up good little one! xo auntie Fionna 

After the photoshoot I came home with a migraine and wasn't feeling amazing after this shoot and my graduation speech stunt. I only see my dad once in a few years at a time and if I could have him with me in any time of my life I was glad that he was home that night when I wasn't feeling great. I told him that I feel like a failure. And he said, "Successful people are usually successful failures. If you don't keep trying you will never succeed but if you keep trying you will fail a lot but will sometime succeed." Hehe, my dad is so Chinese I love him. 

 

CIT Graduation

22 May 2014

I had my graduation ceremony from CIT on the 22^nd of May. It is a worthwhile journal entry as the last time I graduate from my other degree I couldn’t care less of what I studied that by the end of a 4 year study I didn’t bother attending the ceremony.

On the flip side of that, 6 years later I had managed to cram in cert 2 & 3 floristry in CIT in 1 year and the graduation event has blown out of proportion. My parents flown in from Jakarta to be there and I haven’t seen them in 2 years. My older brother also decided to attend, and I haven’t seen him for 4 years.

It is worthwhile in retrospect as they have given me the rotary club award. They have also ask me to come in early for an interview with the Canberra weekly and have invited me to make a speech as the ‘vote of thanks’ to the teachers on behalf of the students- which is the biggest honor anyone could ever give to me. My in laws were ecstatic- so they’re also coming. The funny thing about all this is, initially when CIT mailed me my testamur I accidentally threw it in recycling bin. I rang them up trying to get it sent back to me and told them that the letter had been damaged in the post from the rain…. In my defence, Greg told me to say that- and it sounded more respectable than accidentally throwing away my testamur in the recycling bin- so I did what he said.

All that honor and acknowledgement, my head should really be blown up like a balloon with ego right now, and so I’m grateful for the silly things that I do to bring me back down to earth. It would also be helpful if I had a cat- I would continually go back to it for a reality check.

To cut a long story short, I didn’t ended up doing my graduation speech. They didn’t tell me when I’m supposed to do it, so after I went up to the stage to receive my bit of paper I went out of the hall to catch a breath from my nerves. When I came back, the ceremony is over and I totally missed my speech.  I felt gutted. It was a once in a lifetime event and I completely missed it! Argh!

After the ceremony I wanted the family to get together for a bbq at home instead of going out for dinner. I figured it would be more social that way. I’m really glad that I did because in between dinner and dessert I read my speech in front of the people who actually cared about me. A few days after I realized that apart from my ego, my family and my teachers, I haven’t disappointed anyone else.

The rotary club had invited me to speak to them about my learning journey and what I will do with my career in a few weeks time so I’ll make it up then.

If You Love Me... (Se Voce Me Ama)

30 April 2014

Naming a new jewellery design often made me pause for a good long while before I can come up with anything. So every now and then I cheat by naming it to a song that I listened to when I was making it. In this case, it is a particular song by Melody Gardot and Heitor Pereira. When I really like a piece of music, I repeat it for the whole day while making stuff and not get tired of it- which made it one of the rare occasions that I'm thankful to be working alone.  

I own 2 out of 3 Melody Gardot albums- and I always wondered why her album photographs are so dark- and also how her voice is unusually meticulous. Later I found out from Pandora Radio that years ago in her uni days- as a fashion student, she got run over by a vehicle that left her for dead on the side of the road. Her recovery process took years and one of the thing she had to do to recover was music therapy. She is hyper sensitive to light and sound- which explains a lot about her artistry- and walks with a cane that made it hard for her to tour.  

This particular song is incredibly delicate, it makes my heart swells listening to it. It is however in Portuguese and for a long while I wasn't curious of what the song is about until I had to name the earrings I just made. I'm glad that I did, because it made the song more meaningful- and positively heart breaking. So I've got the music in Portuguese for you to listen and the lyrics in English. Close eyes, turn up speakers, enjoy slowly.  

Without you
There is no life to live
Without you
There is no life to live, there is love
If you love me, why do not you call me?
Do not hide in the silence of a flower changes
That afternoon the moon, as shown as naked
Sea and wind, my torment, my loneliness
Under the moon
Light that is so your
Open up
Two lovers in frank light in a sea of love
So much love
Love to win (To win your love)
I'm your bird (I'm your bird)
I fly very softly, sing for you
If you love me
Why do not you call me?
In my nest singing here alone without you
enchanted
A mirage of nothing (no one)
My desert to fly open open
More than anything
"Sayonara" my love
Without you
There is no life life to live, there is
There is no life

English Garden Photoshoot

15 April 2014

Nalin (of Peacock and Lotus Design hair accessories) and I had our first organised photoshoot this week. When Nalin and I first met to discuss goals and ideas, we were aiming high and wanted our photos to be a magazine standard photography. Didn’t take us long to realize that that is very hard to do with zero styled shoots experience- so we’ve decided to do a simpler product shots to begin with. Still, we ended up having a professional photographer, make-up artist, hair stylist, models and ‘borrowed’ wedding dresses from a Sydney designer - the whole sch-bang which made me very excited and nervous on the day (credits are posted below).

It's the 15^th of April and we are in the heart of autumn here in Australia. At this time of the year Canberra is in overabundance of autumn leaves, berries, roses and dahlias. I have gladly created 4 bridal bouquets featuring different shades of autumn that I have had fun exploring. 

When we think of autumn, most people would immediately think of the colour red, orange and yellow. I think the reason for this is because those colours displayed the brightest, most eye catching part of autumn especially in maple and ornamental pear trees. The monochromatic nature of this combination makes this bouquet so easy to come up with. 

Flowers: roses, crab apples, gomprena, wild berries, paper daisy, solidaster and autumn leaves

I love the pink tones in autumn- which does exist if you look for it, especially in sunsets. Pink is closely connected closely to the colour brown- which is the colour of dried up autumn leaves. It is possible to create an autumn themed wedding with the correct shade combination of ivory, light pink and brown.

Flowers used are:   roses, David Austin roses, paper daisy, stock, alstromeira, dried maple leaves

Have you ever noticed the dark purple colour that plum trees leaves turn into in autumn? It is not a celebrated autumn colour, but in Canberra, there would be rows and rows of plum trees that turn to dark purple before it goes dormant and sprung masses of pink flowers in spring. I lhad the idea of having a traditional red wedding bouquet with an autumn twist so I made this red rose bouquet with a touch of dark purple backing of purple maple leaves, and purple thai basil filler flowers!

Flowers: roses, thai basil flowers, dahlia, scabiosa, purple autumn leaves backing.

Admittedly the last bouquet is not completely inspired by autumn- I just had to do it because of the unusual colour of this dahlia is calling out to me to be bought. The colour I have in mind for this bouquet is silver lavender which leans more towards in winter- but still nice.

Flowers: dahlia, stock, lavender, scabiosa, spray roses, lisianthus, feijoa foliage.  

Ben- Photographer: https://www.facebook.com/benthomasphotos

Nalin- Head Pieces: https://www.facebook.com/peacockandlotus

Raechel- Make up Artist: https://www.facebook.com/RaediantBeauty

Fionna- Florist: https://www.facebook.com/fenonwirejewellery

Hair Stylist: https://www.facebook.com/redpoutboutique

Locks of Love- Flowers for Film

2nd March 2014 

It's not everyday that you get an interesting volunteering job via facebook from a film producer to a florist- and yet that is what happened to me around Christmas time last year. When a film producer, Janine was desperate for a florist, she managed finding me via an article about my Royal Easter Show win, 'googling' my name and then contacting me on facebook- and the rest is history!  

The movie project is conducted by ScreenACT- a Canberra film company who has been working hard on a few short films using locations and talents from Canberra. 

My main project was to decorate a gate with flowers for a wedding scene. Janine and I was communicating actively for a few weeks discussing logistics and what we want the gate to look like. I drew her 4 different sketches of ideas to show her some creative possibilities, different flower choices and also options covering a few different level of budget. Janine chose a simpler version of my sketch but was sold by it because it has mainly South African/Australian Native flowers. 

I also brought the 'Royal Bluebell' to Janine's attention. The Royal Bluebell is a delicate wild-floral emblem of the capital city. It is too small to be placed on the gate to make any impact so we've decided to put them in the bride's hair. 

I had such a great time decorating a relatively large space of the gate with natives. The variety of texture, size of Australian foliage and flowers are so vast and delicious it is so easy to make things look that they belong together. I have to confess that while I was covering the oasis in foliage at home I was entertaining the idea of one day doing some serious flower decoration for a big box office movie. A future bigger and better version of 'great gatsby' perhaps, haha.... I absolutely adore the frills in that movie!  

The gate was covered with foliage at home 2 days before the shoot. On the day of the shooting I arrived 4 hours earlier before the actors arrive to finish it off with the flowers. Working in a shooting location was an experience in itself. I had no idea how much work goes into making a movie until that day. There's camera technicians who are very busy doing just one very specific jobs. Director, producers still discussing creative options to resolve the weather changes issues. Assistants making sure everyone have got their coffees and making sure the public knows what is going on in the area. 

Slightly different to the nature of my usual gig, the priority of this arrangement is for the flowers to look good for the camera only- which means that I could economized in some places if necessary. I also need to know which angle the camera is facing, and which side of the gate is priority. I knew that I was doing the right thing when one of the key cameraman commented that he wished he have had something similar for their wedding! Haha... 

I had my lunch break when the shooting commences. I came back and watched the final few bits of the shoot and then it's already time to dismantle everything. It felt a bit weird that after weeks of planning, days of preparing, the gate was only 'alive' for less than 4 hours before it was pulled apart. 

The release date for the movie is still pending. Will definitely announce it as soon as I find out from Janine. 

The Plan

28 February 2014

I’m very excited to be writing the first blog post of my new website solely as a business owner. I remember years ago when I was bored on my desk job I would draw sketches- sketches of what my ‘shop front’ would look like. The dream was different back then. I thought I was going to own a little shop front of flowers with little nifty trinkets. For some reason I wanted a white lounge in there somewhere with pretty books and relaxing background music. As time goes by, I realize that even though I love working in a customer related environment, being able to design is what I really want to do.

As I’m writing this, I’m 4 days away to finishing my job in the florist. Tuesday, 4^th March. I am sad, but it has been a long time coming as my hours had been cut down and the job is starting to get very repetitive and boring. I am eager to move on, but I have to admit that I do feel scared sometimes to go off on my own. I’m so blessed that so many of my friends and clients are happy and excited for me, and their support has had a huge impact to my confidence and self-esteem.

In the past 2 months while still working in the florist, I’ve been slowly working towards a goal in setting up the business. At the beginning of the year, there are 3 things that I know I have to properly invest; buying a fridge suitable for my flowers, getting a new identity and hire a professional web designer.  It’s been unreal seeing that list ticked off in just a few weeks!

Starting out fresh I had to decide, in black and white, how I want the audience to see what Fenon is. On the surface, Fenon is a name that I use to brand my product and services. Fenon is me, and I am a florist, who makes jewellery- but deeper than that, I have a brain that likes to go for a wonder (boredom is my recipe for going crazy). I have ideas, I style, and design, and while writing this I know I’m going to go beyond flowers and jewellery. The tag line to my new logo is not flowers, or handmade jewellery (although I did put a flower and swirls in the logo to drive a point of what I’m currently doing). I purposefully chose studio design- and suddenly the possibility is endless and Fenon can be anything that I choose to create in the long term.

It may seem small, but this is my pitch to the world of chaos. To emphasize the beauty in everything that we create- and that can be a whole other blog post for me to unpack. But we’ll leave it here for now.

Thank you everyone for sharing your time in starting this journey with me! Xo 

I don't write many blog entries. I'm not a writer, and I doubt my daily stories has much potential to inspire. Lately my days are just filled with tasks to be done so I don't have to think about them anymore. Who wants to hear about that? But tonight is different. I think I've hit some sort of a mental wall. All the things that are happening are just blurred into one whirlwind, and I'm over telling everyone that I'm busy.

In regards to where my jewellery business is at, it's going fantastically considering it's interrupted by school and work. I'm juggling between replenishing popular designs, designing new things, filling in custom orders and updating my online presence. But thanks to the great people out there who follow my work, sales has been going quite steady even with no markets. CIT is going crazy preparing for Floriade and work in the florist is picking up also. With all this happening, Greg and I just bought our first house. We're going to move in there somehow soon before Floriade starts hopefully. We also have our 7 month old niece in the back of our mind who is in the hospital.

Tonight was supposed to be my 10 year school reunion. I could't cope with the thought of having to travel to Melbourne over a weekend with all this happening so I chose to stay at home. Greg is away to Sydney for the weekend leaving me alone, and I'm feeling a deep regret being alone doing nothing while everyone else is out there having a great time. Oh well, I've had a good run 10 years after school. I might still not be rich but I finally know what I want to do in life... I don't know if I'm good at it or not but at least I know I'm worth something.

Something happen to me this week that I thought was quite ironic and actually, I still don't quite understand. I was jobless in 2011, got depressed and thought I had nothing to give to the world. Somehow this year I got a confidence boost with Fenon doing very well and the significant Royal Easter Show win. You would think that with that kind of improvement it would give a big boost to my career. Yet things haven't really changed much and I still get problems. Until this day my boss still doesn't let me touch any work that is mildly interesting, I still get rejected to attend into a few markets and finally this week my teacher at school wouldn't let me get my hands on the floral jewellery making book because she doesn't want the rest of the class to get a shock when they see what I could do. And that kind of discourages me a little.

I live everyday having faith in God knowing that everything is under His control, so I'm not complaining. I'm simply standing here, observing His works in my life and the worldly view of the bi-product of my worldly achievements. When I was on the other side I always thought that if I could prove to all these people I'm worth something, maybe I will gain a bit of respect and my life will get infinitely better. It did get better, but I didn't realize being great doesn't just mean happy ending.

I never thought that if I climb the ladder higher it means the possibility of falling even harder. But thats Ok, I will never dwell on that. I'll just never ever look down.